00:00 I was born with two things one like an
00:04 extreme amount of exhaustion from
00:06 patriarchal colonialism to a very strong
00:12 comedy and the comedic voice has been
00:14 like a survival tool for me like being
00:17 the funny girl was like such an
00:19 important survival tool like ever since
00:21 I was very young it's like a way for
00:22 people to immediately like you and
00:24 immediately like comprehend any sort of
00:26 like emotion you're feeling laughter can
00:29 create this immediate community
00:31 collectivity and agreement
00:33 it's a confirmation of something that is
00:35 shared
00:39 as I was exiting out of this like
00:42 abusive relationship I started taking
00:44 improv classes to like release a sense
00:47 of guilt through performance that wasn't
00:49 the first time I got abuse like the
00:51 first time when I lost my virginity I
00:53 was drugged and so like I didn't talk
00:56 about that for years so I have this poem
00:58 that's like to the father your son raped
01:00 me but I see in you my revenge on him a
01:03 quickly receding hairline and cataracts
01:05 like like that we're not laughing at the
01:09 abuse that was incurred on me we're
01:11 laughing because like half the time
01:12 these dudes are losers the pain is still
01:15 real it doesn't erase the pain because I
01:16 felt really ashamed being like my dudes
01:19 such a loser and he did that to me
01:20 but like you should never be ashamed
01:22 that you got abused or assaulted they
01:25 should be ashamed they did that like why
01:26 aren't they out here like saying how a
01:29 shame they are they're not they just get
01:30 to go away on skates and continue being
01:32 losers I'm first-generation Indian I
01:36 grew up with a lot of Indian people
01:38 because my parents had like a group of
01:41 buds and they like move did the same
01:43 town but like at school it was like I
01:46 wasn't fitting in with the white kids I
01:47 wasn't fitting in with the Asian kids I
01:48 knew I didn't look like them I knew that
01:51 I had to like I used to like wax my arms
01:54 I knew that it took me four hours to
01:55 straighten my hair I was using comedy
01:58 differently than I use now and that I
01:59 was hiding behind my comedy we're like
02:01 now my comedy like brings me forward to
02:04 the light and so it's really cool it's
02:06 like always have that tool in your back
02:07 pocket but utilize how that can be
02:09 empowering instead of making you like
02:10 the donkey of a group how can we undo
02:13 silences through performing and making
02:16 people laugh like I feel like I'm doing
02:18 like an undoing of like a lot of years
02:20 of like pain and shame even seeing one
02:22 person laugh at certain things I'm like
02:24 you felt that too like don't you feel
02:26 better that like there's one other
02:28 weirdo and like maybe you're not as
02:30 crazy as me because you're not on stage
02:31 like talking about it but like don't you
02:34 feel better that there's like someone
02:36 next to you that's like oh yeah I like
02:38 won't do the same thing walking down the
02:42 street and I'm here
02:54 I'm never gonna force someone to like
02:57 publicly say anything but just like
02:59 there's a solace and knowing that you're
03:01 not alone like all of us like all over
03:05 our feeling just like isolated pain
03:07 because everyone's experience is so
03:09 individualized and it can be so
03:11 different and like there's this reliving
03:14 that's occurring and pop in politics
03:15 right now right we listen to doctor bazi
03:19 Ford talk about it and they're like oh
03:20 my god like know that exactly didn't
03:23 happen to me but like I know that like I
03:25 know what that moment is like the point
03:29 of speaking out is to be like don't
03:31 diminish it it's real you experienced it
03:33 everything you experienced is real and
03:35 people are gonna try to say it's not
03:37 because they want to defend their bro
03:39 but like guess what their bro is a loser
03:41 the moment I like spoke about it with
03:44 friends is when I was like you went
03:47 through this too
03:47 you got catcalled like this too like I
03:50 feel like yes it has like so helped me
03:53 to speak about it yeah like maybe it's a
03:55 goofy way to do it to like see me
03:57 screaming onstage flailing my arms and
03:58 doing something like super stupid silly
04:00 while joking about it it's like a hand
04:03 reaching out that I'm trying to do by
04:04 being like you don't have to come
04:06 onstage and say this for people to know
04:08 it's real because like I know it's real
04:11 [Music]
04:16 you